let's talk about Beh Sci


I'm happy with my course, I am. I don't mind about the toxicity because I love what I'm learning about. All the things that I learned here, I'll never forget. There's just something about the people. I don't know. Maybe, I'm just not like them. I really don't understand myself. Maybe I want to get away from them. Maybe I prefer to be with other people than with them. But no. I can't because I can't leave my course.


What's the problem? I don't know. I dont understand. them. myself. everyone. (emo. hahahaha)


Anyhoo, Beh Sci week is done. All the trouble in preparation (which I was barely part of), and the free days for the batch presentation(which we didn't prepare for) is over.

Am I glad to say that? Hahaha. NOT. Because that would only mean that we have to go back in real life, acads, deadlines, papers, exams. That's how we roll, y'know.

Still, I don't think I'll be leaving Beh Sci. Not in this entire life. (well, after I graduate then) hahaha.

friday night.

i can't remember anything. the only thing i know is that Saturday morning came too fast, and my mind can't rest. what i did, and what i said, i can't remember.

i smile. i say i'm okay. i say i don't know what happened. but i know otherwise.

Maybe my friend is right, unless i find peace, and i get the rest i need, i won't be happy. Maybe I am happy, but not the kind that would make me feel satisfied.

I get bored, I feel tired, but I am happy.

Maybe it's about time I think of my own happiness.

I'm tuned in to Mo Twister's radio show and they're talking about lame break up reasons. then suddenly, I thought of the reason why I broke up with my exboyfriends. I had 3 boyfriends, 1 not so serious and the other 2, hmm, pwede na(uhh, and yeah, I broke up with all of them) the lamest would probably be the one where I broke up with the guy and I told him that I wanted to focus on my studies(lamest excuse ever) but truth is I just wanted to hook up with another guy. Now that's me being the bitch me. Then I got together with the second one(the reason, real reason, why I broke up with the first one). Guy 2 is my first serious boyfriend. We broke up twice. The first time we broke up, I think it's because I started to get bored. And dumped him. after 2 months, I started going out again. this time, with my bestfriend. Haha. Anyway, he courted me(sorta), then we got together. Our relationship lasted for 2 months. Then I broke up with him, to go back to Guy 2. Hahaha. I was really complicated then, maybe more of being a b. But yeah, Guy 2 was my man. The second time we broke up, I was really pissed off with him. I don't know. It was not lame, but it was a really really bad break up. Not that there is a third party, not that kind. He's not the type of guy who does that, but maybe, unconsciously, there is a third party. That's why I hate the bestfriends of my boyfriends. Hahahahaha.

for the same reason i did before.

i will.

i simply can't be happy for you.

that's why i'm still up right now.

huhu.


i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo careless. :(


i left my phone at the commuter van. Helllloooooooooo. Come to think of it, we left at the gate of our subdivision, I was holding my phone while I was sleeping, and because I was in a verrrrrrrrrrry deep sleep, I might have forgotten that I was holding something. My bad. For the second time this year, I might change my cellphone number again. Damn. I hope this will be the last.


Anyway, my day is really awful. Sad. Awful. Whatever

I finished my Psych Scale today. I'm done with the statistics and everything, all I needed to do was print my output and submit it to my professor. Come 5pm.

I was so desperate, so I went to Netopia at Robinson's Place, Ermita. My output turned out to have 28 pages. Printing was worth 8 pesos per page. Expensive, compared to Alva's rate which is 3 pesos per page. Plus, if ever I had them print my output, it will take more than 10 minutes to print all those pages, and pay for them at the cashier.

5:15, it took the technician more than 5 minutes to scan the file, preview it at the excel, and eventually I decided to not print it anymore.

Disappointed, yes, but I'm glad I'm done with it.

Grandma's confined at the Makati Medical Center for Pneumonia. After my meeting with my sisses, I went to MMC. Thanks to Mama Bern for sending me off to the hospital.

Nanang(grandma) is now better. Her temperature is lower and hopefully she'll be released by today if her fever doesn't go back.

I actually had fun at the hospital. First of all, I got to bond with my Tito and Tita, who I haven't seen for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long time now. Second, my baby cousin was there too! So we just played whooooole night long until the time they sent us to the Shaw.

Today, I actually did miss this very oddly special person for no apparent reason. Idk, maybe because I haven't seen him for days, and I'm just so used to see him everyday after our classes. :) It's a good feeling, and I'm happy. (not that I have an actual "someone" right now, but because of the fact that I can still feel like this for another person)


Realization: I am quitting. Haha. Seriously. My goal is that by August 20th, I'll be able to live without the need for nicotine. I can do this. I have lived my life without it and I can do it again this time. I'll just take it slowly. I'm really scared about the effect of getting used to it and then quitting suddenly. I just hope the following months wouldn't be as stressful as the previous ones.

(and I won't take stress as an excuse to smoke)

starting today, I have a quota of 5 sticks per day. I just have to maximize it. haha. I had one stick just now, so I only 4 until the end of August 2nd.

It's all about deep inner strength.

:)

FRIENDS PAKISAGOT ASAP!!!!

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER BASED ON YOUR PERSONAL PERCEPTION, BASE YOUR ANSWERS/SCORES/RATING ON THE RELEVANCE OF THE STATEMENT TO THE TOPIC


YAY. IF YOU'RE DONE IN JUDGING MY STATEMENTS, PLEASE DO TEXT ME ASAP
09278026675 AND/OR 09233539806


THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I NEED IT SANA BY TODAY SO AYUN. SALAMAT NG MARAMI.


Comprehensive IQ and EQ in Relation to MMORPG and Online Gaming Scale

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to judge my scale. My scale aims to measure the psychological effects of MMORPG and online games on the IQ and EQ of children and adolescents.

Intelligence Quotient (IQ) is the score of the mental capability of a person, while Emotional Quotient is the score of the emotional capability of a person. Psychological effects are factors or stimuli that affect the cognitive processes and mental development. MMORPG is a genre of computer Role Playing games in which a large number of players interact with one another in a virtual world. Online Gaming is a new trend of gaming system that is eminent in the internet nowadays. Children mean any child from the range of 5 to 10 years of age, while Adolescent means any individual from the range of 11 to 18 years of age.

You can send the ‘judged’ scale to my email address: juvy.macapagal@gmail.com
Should you have queries regarding my topic please do contact me at my email address stated above or at my mobile number/s 0927.802.6675 and/or 0923.353.9806

Thanks,
Juvy

Instructions: Please rate each of the following items with regard to its favorability to the concept of psychological effects of MMORPG and online games on the IQ and EQ of children and adolescents.
Use the following rating criteria:

1 = strongly unfavorable to the concept
2 = somewhat unfavorable to the concept
3 = undecided
4 = somewhat favorable to the concept
5 = strongly favorable to the concept

Please put the score at the end of each statement and change the font color to blue.

e.g. 1. Math professors are intelligent. 4

1. I feel violently for no apparent reason.
2. I imagine scenarios in the game as reality.
3. The thought of having to play after school excites me.
4. I am aware of the unhealthy effects of frequent exposure to computers but I don’t mind
5. I feel bad whenever I lose in the game
6. I feel the urge to play again when I lose in the game and continue playing until I reach the goal based on the game
7. I feel ecstatic when I’m playing my favorite computer game
8. I feel the urge to attack a friend in the manner I see in games I play.
9. I would rather face the computer and play than read my books.
10. I rush to do my homework so I can play online games.
11. I allot a big portion of my allowance for MMORPG and online games
12. I feel insulted when other people criticize my frequent playing of computer games
13. I hate it when my family interrupts me while I am playing.
14. I stay up longer than I should be when I am playing
15. I interact more with friends during virtual playtime than in real life
16. I am very much attached with the games I play
17. I talk about the game with my friends
18. I hang out with friends who play the same game as I do
19. I skip class in order to have longer play time
20. I think of playing the game while doing my homework
21. I think more about the strategies in playing than the lessons in school
22. I tend to integrate the games I play with my experiences in real life
23. I feel emotional when I am not allowed to play computer games
24. I avoid people who don’t like playing games that I play
25. I feel excited about the violence I see in games
26. I fail academically because of playing computer games
27. My family noticed a change in my physical condition since I started playing computer games
28. I look for more games when I go online
29. My playing habit has been a cause of argument between me and my friends
30. I am bothered when I don’t get to play in a day
31. I fight with my siblings when they don’t let me play in our computer
32. I spend more time at computer shops than at home or at school
33. I borrow money from other people in order to pay for computer rentals for games
34. I get in trouble at home and school because of playing online/role-playing games
35. I feel troubled when I am not able to play
36. I get anxiety attacks when my parents threaten me that I can not play
37. I imitate the sounds I hear in the games I play no matter how inaudible they may be
38. I think I cannot live without playing MMORPG and online games
39. I feel sick when I am not able to play
40. I think the actions in the games I play are awesome
41. I want to think that I am inside the virtual world when I am playing
42. I imagine my character in the game and act like him/her
43. I feel easily aggressed when I am not playing
44. I tend to act aggressively when I am disturbed while playing
45. I can play the game for more than 3 hours straight
46. I have more than one user account in one virtual game
47. I can not think properly because of I think more of the games I play
48. I am proud of the achievements I get in the games I play
49. I chat more with people I meet from the virtual world of MMORPG and online gaming
50. I see people I meet in the virtual world only as part of that virtual and not as real people
51. I don’t think there is anything wrong with playing MMORPG and online games
52. I think playing MMORPG and online games completes my personality
53. My happiness depends on the play time I get for MMORPG and online games
54. I dream about the games I play
55. My parents are worried about the length of my playtime and exposure to these games
56. My friends drift away because of my playing MMORPG and online games
57. I encourage my friends to cut class and play MMORPG and online games
58. I unconsciously draw images related to the characters I see in games
59. I understand and use online lingo that I learned from MMORPGs and online games more often than the normal language
60. I refuse to stop playing when my family asks me to stop
61. I rationalize my playing habit when people tell me that I am starting to be addicted to it
62. I enjoy playing games even when I am alone
63. I believe that playing MMORPG and online games is what I do best
64. I am confident that I am not gravely affected by playing
65. I have no plans to stop playing MMORPGs and online games
66. The idea of winning in the games I play make me feel more confident and stronger
67. I get frustrated when I don’t reach the goals of the games I play
68. I know a lot of information about the games I play
69. I try out every new game in the market
70. I see playing as a motivation and inspiration to live
71. Playing MMORPGs and online games makes me feel a better person
72. I am updated on all the issues concerning MMORPGs and online games
73. I only feel satisfied when I get to play MMORPGs and online games
74. I feel violated when another player beats me at MMORPGs and online games
75. I despise people who are better than me in playing
76. I practice everyday so that I can play better
77. I feel empty when a day goes by without playing MMORPGs and/or online games
78. I am more accepted by my online friends
79. I am stressed when the game becomes intense
80. My peers say that I am immature because I still like playing MMORPGs and online games

wuh. right now, i'm intoxicated with all my acads issues. i've been online since last night and well, i'm proud to say that i have accomplished something. I'm done with my Psychological scale, it is now up for judging(paper is due tomorrow), then after judging i'll start with the statistics, YAY! I have more than 20 sources for the Review of Related Literature of my thesis proposal. I'm so happy.

However, complicated is the new status quo. Why? I don't know. I should've finished these assignments eons ago had I not been too busy uncomplicating my already complicated life. (i dont think uncomplicating is a right term) anyway, there, I feel like everything is falling into places.

I'm happy and sad. I'm happy because everything is going well except for my social life, that is why I'm sad. I miss my friends.

Especially this one friend I have.. I don't know. For no apparent reason we drifted apart, again. It's my fault, I guess. I let him go. And I know things wouldn't ever be the same for the both of us.

I miss the people who know me more than anybody else. I know I've been stuck for quite a long time, but I'm reaching out. I miss myself. Haha.

For the past few months, I know a lot has changed about me. I'm not the same person I was before, but I know I changed for the better. I did some mistakes but those mistakes doesn't define my person. They only made me stronger.

My blog is sooooooooo incoherent I don't even know what I'm talking about..

anyway, back to acads mode. Last night, we had a reporting about Imperialism. Hahaha. anddddd I think my group's report was the best. Hahahaha. I read about it only that day and I know my groupmates weren't prepared too, but we pulled it off. Go Family! _____________________________________
My mom is not home, and I'm alone.
Doing acads stuff. and it feels good. hahaha. :)