i don't know why i feel so frustrated but apparently i am. i've been crushing on this guy for months now, and usually i get what i want. now the thing is, this guy is different. he is this super nice guy, like cut-throat nice but he wouldn't go out with me. it's okay to be turned down once, but TWICE? (for me??) it's different man. you see, the moment i saw this guy i knew i had this unconscious thing for him. and now that i've realized that i REALLY do want him, i'm kinda trying to get out of my way just to get him. but i can't because he wouldn't let me.

come on. is it really that hard to like me? i've been freaking out since the time i woke up this morning. i texted him and usually he would reply, but fellas, there's not even a blank message from him!

i know we are the exact opposite but opposites attract right? unless we have the same taste for romance... (i mean, maybe he also like men..) haha. but kidding aside, i think he wouldn't like me because i drink and he doesn't.. i smoke and he doesn't.. i love coffee and he fucking loves praline mocha and everything else that doesn't have caffeine in them!

this is soooo f*cking frustrating.

now i don't even know why i like him soooo much. (not so much though, but i'd really like to go out with him)

and i'm slacking off my paper/school work just because im busy ranting about how he wouldnt fucking like me!


i'm not mad. i'm just a bit stressed and freaked out and withdrawing from nicotine. i'm perfectly okay. i'm perfect. i'm okay.



whatever. but i still can't get him to like me.